I love my clothes. No, really, I love them. They bring me joy. I spend entire afternoons with them, putting outfits together with jewelry and scarves, considering shoes versus boots, and ironing a repertoire of ensembles for the upcoming weeks. However, as I get older, I find myself striving to keep things simpler and more direct. And as I create these outfits, I realize that my style is changing in subtle and “appropriate” ways. That word – “appropriate”! I use it only because I was once told that my attire was always appropriate… for my age. That thought prompted me to create my fashion rules (opinions) for women of “my age”. (I thought about writing a book but apparently what I need to say can be expressed in a page.) But then again, they really apply to anyone and I feel it is my duty to share with the world my style opinion – whether or not it asked.

Shoes: First of all, heels – the best friend of the height impaired.  Unfortunately, there comes a day when heels become the enemy. Feet just can’t take it anymore (not sure they ever could) and now they let you know it loud and clear. I used to force the issue but now there is no leeway. Flats or bust!  Or is there an alternative? In some cases, I have adopted a bit lower heel, sometimes with a hidden platform in the front of the shoe.  Otherwise, I embrace the wedge as an option and if all else fails, a flat with a small heel. After years of loving my heels (and all my 176 pairs of shoes, garnering a nickname of “Imelda” in my family), it has been a difficult transition but it sure beats a broken ankle!

Pants: Next, let’s consider bottoms… pants, trousers, leggings.  In the case of a tailored pair of slacks, never underestimate the power of a hem tailoring. It’s a quick fix but so many people (ok, the younger ones) think nothing of letting their pant cuffs drag. What the heck! That’s just messed up! Your pants are worn, and worse still, filthy! Think of all those ladies rooms with the manky floors! Yuck!

While we are on the topic of bottoms, who doesn’t love leggings? However, they were never meant to be pants! And unfortunately, too many people wear too short a top with them. Honestly, it’s shocking for the rest of us so please cover your bum.  A lovely tunic or longer sweater can polish your look and save the world the need to look away.

Accessories: – In my opinion, the name of the game. When you choose an outfit and there is something that’s not quite right, in many cases all that you need is the right necklace, a scarf, or some great earrings.  I tend to buy a lot of fun necklaces and earrings, as well as scarves and sweaters, that can help pull a look together. The key is in how you store these gems so that they can be easily tapped when needed. I separate by color – reds, greens, blues, etc. – and metal – silver or gold.  I buy containers intended for other uses – embroidery threads, nails and screws, crafts – and I adapt them, labeling each compartment for easy access.  I am still working on a compact storage solution for my scarves (aside from winter versus lighter weight) but I’ll keep you informed on the progress.

Hair: Now this is a dicey one since for many, including myself, hair is a defining element of a persona.  Let’s start by focusing on hair color – and I won’t even consider the trend of dying hair colors found in the rainbow. In no case is this acceptable – it’s frivolous and certainly not “cute”, a bit of fun, or a means of self expression. It’s just dumb!  Now on to the more serious and sensible – depending on your natural color (original, birth, or what you remember it to be before you started down the hair dye rabbit hole), go lighter. Roots – they will own you so just give in and take it up a few tones. You will be able to stretch the time between touch ups. In the meantime, invest in a good root touch up (aerosol is great, there are also powder forms).  You will be able to tip your head without fear that your roots are staring someone in the face. It always amazes me when people seem to have the exact width of gray roots…all the time. What’s with that?  Cover it up, girl!

Now cut and style – there comes a time when hair length screams “I refuse to get old so I will leave my hair long – that should trick them!”  Sorry, honey! Your dry, frizzed aged locks do not shave years off – they just beg for a hot oil treatment.  I often hear that people keep it long and simple because they just wash and leave the house with wet hair. Hold, please! Nothing says “I don’t give a damn!” like wet hair on arrival at work.  A few well placed layers and a tutorial and you will be a “new you”! The hair dryer is not your enemy and, better yet, take a spin with the straightener or the curling iron. Your well styled coif will give you a well deserved pick me up!

Skin care and Makeup or lack thereof: My best advice to the mature woman is to go to a reputable non-commission cosmetics store like Sephora and sit yourself down to a makeover. With age, skin changes and so should our skin care routine.  A few years ago, my daughter treated me to a makeover with an older makeup artist and it was life altering! She understood the issues of older skin and changed up my entire routine. I purchased the products (there was no pressure to buy) and I have maintained the process. The big take aways: the value of primer and no more creme blush. And highlighter! It makes for a fresh face and a dewy glow that’s natural looking when it doesn’t come naturally. A good moisturizer is also key – mine costs $75 but I am a believer.  (My skin care roots go deep. I started at 27 to apply Mary Kay daily and I do believe that it made a difference – I mean, have you ever seen Mary Kay, when she was alive, that is!)

I could go on forever…but before I risk becoming more impassioned than I already am on some of these topics, I will end this rant. I am sure that I will return to whine more on the subject but for now, I will be watching.  And trying not to judge – although that is not my strength. And when I see your style evolve, I will know my work here was not wasted.

A few days ago, one of my “fashion fantasies” became a reality.  Fashion designer and Japan Vogue editor, Anna Dello Russo acknowledged my post on her Facebook page. Ok, she didn’t make real personal contact but she did reply with a “Thank you!” to my comment of “Fabulous!”  I count this moment as a personal fashion “coup” since I am obsessed with this fashion world icon. In my fantasy, we are family, since we share the same last name, “Dello Russo”, and I purport a family resemblance in every photo I see of her in her many poses on the streets of Milan, Paris, and whereever in the world she surfaces. She expounds a collection of fashion beliefs and tenets and I am a believer. She is everything that I would have hoped to attain if I had pursued a life in fashion. Sadly, I didn’t realize that I could even try until it was too late…or is it?

I also have rules when it comes to fashion. I thought they were mine alone and, if I shared them, I would sound a little bananas. For example, I avoid being photographed in the same outfit twice. I plan my packing for vacations around this rule, often hogtying myself to dig deep into my archives or run off to the store to beef up my already extensive wardrobe. Apparently, I share this belief with “Anna” (I feel like we are now on first name terms). She has a list of fashion rules – #7 “You must wear outfit only once.”  (She has an endearing command of spoken English that is enchanting!) She also believes that photography is the death knell for any ensemble. I guess I’m not so original after all!

Anna warns against wearing two different shades of black (who knew?) because light plays on fabrics differently, advises you to revel in the moment when someone is wearing the same outfit as you are (because it’s fashion – you got it right), and encourages excessive accessorizing (it’s sexy!).  Accessories make your look personal and “will turn an ordinary day into a sensational fashion week day.” God, I love this woman!

Anna is fearless and exuberant, owning with her every strut and pose even the most extra-ordinary and unconventional outfits. She is the epitome of the idea of runway fashion, except she takes it to the street. Gutsy and glitzy, she glams it up to a degree that is exclusively Anna. Oh, to be so bold!

Of course, Anna Dello Russo is an ideal, a caricature of style and design, not translatable in the day to day of the average person.  For this reason, I seek other perspectives and approaches to style.  As I visited the Georgia O’Keeffe exhibit at the Peabody Essex Museum in Salem this afternoon, I was struck by her attention to simplicity that evolved into a style. When assembling her wardrobe, Georgia would purchase a particular frock in numerous colors or a suit from a particular tailor in a few slightly different styles.  For many years, Georgia would wear only black and white, not changing her palette until her New Mexico phase.  What would Anna say about that? Interestingly, as the museum patrons hovered around Georgia O’Keeffe’s paintings, I instead studied the clothing on display, examining each garment working to glean insight into the artist’s mind.

So tomorrow, I will dress for work with an approach somewhere between that of Anna and Georgia. This is not Milan (sadly) but I will aspire to be as bold and outrageous as Anna and, as a nod to Georgia, I will admit to owning a few of the same styles in different colors. In any case, my fashion fantasy is all mine – with a few fabulous influences

“In winter 1963, it felt like the world would freeze, with John F. Kennedy, and The Beatles…” – “Life in a Northern Town”, Dream Academy

I was five years old when The Beatles came to America. Even as a little girl, I was transfixed, glued to the TV screen, awaiting their first appearance on Ed Sullivan. It is one of my earliest memories and for the rest of my life, The Beatles have been a part of my heart and soul. My parents even encouraged the obsession, that is until the band embarked on the drug and politics part of their career as an ensemble. Being young, didn’t really understand their concerns – Who was the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi? Why did they go from wearing matching suits and ties to love beads and flowered shirts?  Why had their music changed, too – from ballads and upbeat rock and roll, to experimentation with offbeat, and sometimes dark, themes and images? And what did it mean to “give peace a chance” while the Viet Nam war raged on? The Beatles were my 1960’s. It was the beginning of my education in pop culture, fashion, music, politics, and life.

The Sixties were a tumultuous era of tremendous division and discord for our country.  I was old enough to understand the horrible images of destruction and violence on the news on the little TV in our kitchen during dinner every evening. And I was old enough to realize that what The Beatles professed was not a bad thing. But it was hard growing up in a home where the war was a non-negotiable – you had to buy in. Anyone who did not support the war was a Communist, or at least a sympathizer. The Beatles were in that category.

So I frequently snuck over to my friend’s house to get my Beatles fix, since my supply was cut off – my parents would not support the careers of anyone they perceived to be un-American. My friend Sheryl was the youngest of four sisters in a traditional liberal Jewish family.  It was in their home that we dissected songs like “I am the Walrus” – (who was the Walrus?), attempted to play “Strawberry Fields Forever” backwards to find out whether Paul was really dead, and sang songs like “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” and “Lovely Rita” at the tops of our lungs. It was quite a bit of subterfuge on the part of a ten year old, and it was intriguing!

I cherish my memories of my Beatles childhood. On my transistor radio, I listened to songs like “Yesterday” and “The Long and Winding Road”, ballads that touched a sadness inside me, even at my tender age. It was a lonely life as an only child and sad songs always made sense to me.

When I visited Liverpool in 2016, it reawakened in me the connections I had made as a child with the music of The Beatles. The museums displayed a collection of history that was my history as well. Album covers, dolls, even bubble bath bottles in the shape of Paul and Ringo, just like I had – I was transported. Visiting the grave of Eleanor Rigby and standing at the gates of Strawberry Field, I was spellbound. It was a magical experience.

Now I get my Beatles fix daily on my Sirius XM app as I listen to The Beatles Channel incessantly. I think it’s getting to my roommate (ok, husband) but I don’t care. The songs bring me to the place in my soul where I went from innocence to worldliness. I learned about life from The Beatles. Perhaps there will come a time when I will get tired of the songs, but I doubt it. I just remember…

January 4, 2018 and we have our first snow day. This event does not bode well for the rest of the winter or our June escape from the school year. Yet, I am invigorated by the prospect of a bonus day to get the things accomplished that I just didn’t get to finish on Christmas vacation – like sorting the Christmas decorations before storing them, trading some stocks, sending a few notes to friends who are ill, dealing with an overfull iPhone that barks warning messages at every click. Lofty goals, but one can hope…

While I say I will spend my day in pajamas while sipping coffee and watching The Price is Right, I am at work. Yes, work work. Not at my desk at the high school but what fancier people call “telecommuting” (how glamorous!).  It’s a great opportunity to get things accomplished that are in that pile on the side of the desk for those down times that are so rare and often fleeting. In my business, the best laid plans for productivity are interrupted by a crying kid, or a teacher on prep with a student concern, or any other emergency.  Guidance counselors are the jugglers of education; responding to a new, unique crisis everyday, or hearing a new scenario requiring problem solving, all the while doing the job that the world thinks you are doing.

So a snow day for me is a dubious gift – and for my district, a bonus. In essence, I work for free because this day off that I dedicate to my job will be tacked on at the end of the year to be worked all over again. Sounds like a good deal, right? Or is this what grown ups call “being professional”.

So as I read emails from parents asking me to call them today, or transcribe transcripts, or write reports for the town, I focus on how much I love what I do – at least the ideal of what a school counselor does. We have the most misunderstood role in education – the dumping ground for everything, and when things go pear-shaped, the ones who get dumped on! Yet, we persist. Even on snow days.

Maybe I’ll get to the decorations or my e-trade account today…one can only hope.

As the hours pass, the new year approaches. And I am sitting here, doing the work of my day job – the dirty business of Guidance directing, uploading transcripts and writing recommendations.  It doesn’t get any more boring. And on such a special night… I have this nagging sense that I should be experiencing some flutter of excitement or a sense of dread, but I feel neither.  Like Barry Manilow says, “It’s just another New Year’s Eve…”.

So as I prepare to go off to a New Year’s Eve party, a small gathering of close friends with a plan of playing board games, overeating, and killing time until the BIG moment, I struggle with the simplest decision – should I change my outfit, or is what I am wearing New Year’s Eve worthy? No sequins, no gold or silver accents – just a little cotton floral dress, very everyday and dull. But then again, as Barry says, it’s just a “night like all the rest.”

The moment will come and go, and nothing will truly have changed except a number, But then again, numbers change every second. So as the 7 turns to an 8 and the year becomes 2018, not much will truly change. And that’s ok because in Barry I trust – “when we’re through this New Year, you’ll see, will be just fine”.

Happy New Year Everybody!

With the shadow of the past year in our rear view, 2018 looms shiny bright with a promise of new opportunities to repair, correct, or adjust those foibles and shortcomings that make us fat, lazy, or just plain unproductive. As the years pass, I look upon the touting of the “New Year” with a chuckle and not a little apprehension. How many times can you take on a new diet, add a house cleaning schedule to your January calendar, swear you will go to bed earlier – with the promise of getting out of bed earlier as a benefit, or commit to a new exercise routine, only to abandon this resolve in a few short days – or if your really good, a week or two?  February, the great memory cleanse of a month, finds us reaching for the leftover Lindt chocolate and the snooze button, forget the gym membership and the dirty toilet!

Now as I embark on my 60th year (as my father would say), I resist the run to resolve and renewal.  Instead, I set goals. In 2017, I set a goal to get up and mount the elliptical for a minimum of 15 minutes before work. Only on work days. (It was my game – my rules.) And I did it! I was pretty chuffed with the accomplishment. In the end, I hadn’t lost weight, I didn’t feel healthier, and I certainly did not enjoy it, but I did it. Perhaps it was the sleeveless girls barking the news and weather at me as I pumped at the machine  that inspired me but I don’t think so. I will never have the toned upper arms or flat belly of a 30 year old and besides, they must be freezing wearing those tiny dresses in December.  I don’t expect great things from a resolution or my goal, but I felt pretty good having stuck with it (even with my flabby arms and long sleeves).

So now I have 48 hours or so to come up with another goal.  At the very least, meet me at the elliptical on Tuesday at 5:45!